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�When I was at Sierra Tucson, I�remember I used to try to "walk the pain off" by walking around a small track in the mountains. Iapos;d walk and walk until my legs were so tired that all I could focus on was the feeling of being tired. I kept trying to cover up the devastation, distract myself. But those around me could see the pain. I remember breaking down in the middle of a group therapy session. I tried so hard to hold it in, but I just couldnapos;t do it anymore. Iapos;m so tired of the pain. I am just crushed, devastated, lost, hurt, in disbelief still. I donapos;t think there is a day that goes by where I donapos;t cry over losing him. I canapos;t even say his name because when I�see the name I just burst into tears again
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